Archive for September, 2010

Sam’s Doodledraws: Spider-Man, Spider-Man!!

Posted in comic books, my gifted life, Spider-Man on September 30, 2010 by Samuel K the Best

I do a lot of extra activities at work. They’re all related to work, but most people don’t realize it because they don’t fall under the normal purview of my job description. My boss calls these extra bits of effort “fucking off” because they aren’t at all related to work and I lied to you about that earlier.

I prefer the term “goofing around” or maybe even “monkey shines” because I put a lot of effort into not getting caught. If I were actually fucking off, I don’t think I’d really care if I got caught or not. I told him this once. “It’s all about semantics, boss,” I argued. He gave me a three-day suspension without pay. Joke’s on him. Thanks for the three extra vacation days, numbskull! I GOOFED AROUND ALL THREE DAYS!!

One of the ways I spend my time at work is I read the daily Amazing Spider-Man comic strip. For those of you unfamiliar with the strip’s content, it’s basically what Spider-Man would be like if Spidey was a lazy coward who did very little actual super-heroics and instead took a lot of naps and stood to the side watching other superheroes fight. In some cases he even stays at home and watches other superheroes fight on television.

Another thing I do to goof around at work is I doodle a lot. I do a lot of data entry and most of the original paperwork is just shredded after I’m done with it. I literally get HUNDREDS of pieces of scratch paper a week. I do a lot of web stuff, and there’s not really a lot I can do when I’m waiting for files to upload to the server, or waiting for a report to generate, or when my boss is in the bathroom and can’t catch me shirking responsibilities.

One great day, my two jacking-around activities came into perfect balance. This was the Spider-Man strip for September 10th of this year:

Is Spidey Christ the Redeemer!?

Does Spider-Man have a God-Complex? I didn’t think you could use Spider-Man’s name in vain! A Google Images search didn’t turn up any appropriate comparisons, so I had to cook up my own:

In the name of the Uncle Ben, the Wall-Crawler, and the Doctor Octopus.

It was only after I drew the picture that I realized I should have made the halo Spider-Sense squiggles. Sure, I could have put them in before I scanned the drawing ten minutes ago, but who’s got the time?*

This drawing sent me on a Spidey-doodling spree for at least a week in a half. Most of these were done when I was at lunch (read: boss was out of the office), uploading images to the company website (read: boss took his son to a dentist appointment), or just genuinely goofing around (read: got tired of snooping around in my boss’s desk drawers while he was in a meeting and started drawing at his desk). Presented here are my favorite ones:

Spidey and Frank: BFFI have wanted to do some sort of really stupid, poorly drawn Spider-Man and The Punisher team-up mini comic where Spidey and Frank just sort of pal around and go on a silly adventure. The plot would certainly involve Spider-Man telling Frank that his guns can only shoot webs and nobody’s allowed to die. At the end, Daredevil shows up and ruins all their fun until Spidey just shoves him off the roof of a building. Frank and Spidey then celebrate by getting tuna sandwiches at Spidey’s favorite deli.

Shown: MINIMAL EFFORT!!Spider-Man loves webs. A lot. He has lots of them. That’s why he doesn’t need a car.

... Mr. Business Man!Spider-Man has always been a jokester. Here’s a joke he told when he and Mary Jane took the weekend off to go to Atlantic City.

HUGE!!This doodle was inspired by one of those WHAT-IF? comics. What if CABLE was bitten by a radioactive spider instead of Peter-Parker???

"Aww poor Spidey" - Eric BergEverybody’s always drawing Spider-Man all twisted up as he’s jumping around in the sky. Nobody’s body bends like that. Imagine if he was all twisted up like an idiot laying on the ground. I kinda regret that I didn’t draw big Ren and Stimpy-style buttcheeks. Oh well, HINDsight is 20/20! HA HA! GET IT!? THAT WAS A BUTT JOKE!

That’s all I really have that are worth showing. Most of my drawings I do at work take me like 5 minutes and I work on them a couple seconds at a time throughout the day. I should probably post more here when I think about it.**

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*I do. I have the time.

** I likely won’t. I am a lazy man.